I want to make a zoo with you.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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