guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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