WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
