you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Randomize
