Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I will pee on everything he values.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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