Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
