There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize