may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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