I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
