Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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