There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
