dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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