I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
