I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
