That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
