and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Can Purell be used as lube?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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