At least make sure they are 18
Why
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
They are going to name an STD after you.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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