naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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