i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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