you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
