what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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