let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
