if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
