from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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