I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize