apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
