I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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