i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
