If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
