ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
