Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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