You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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