dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
