how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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