You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
barbara walters just said penis...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
3pm strippers are depressing
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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