If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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