How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Randomize
