I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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