I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
