loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize