whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
