is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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