Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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