I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
