so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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