Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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