i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I have feelings that need drinking.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
