So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
