Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
