I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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