Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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