Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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