so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
