Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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