you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
