garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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