I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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